The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives (Paperback)
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"Every reader will find this book about attachment enlightening."
--Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight
"Does a magnificent job of revealing how attachment manifests at the workplace, in friendships, religion, and even politics.”
--Amir Levine, M.D., author of Attached
A revealing look at attachment theory, uncovering how our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for all our relationships to come
Attachment theory is having a moment. It’s the subject of much-shared articles and popular relationship guides. Why is this fifty-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love--and how.
Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim embarked on a journey to understand it from the inside out. Interviewing researchers, professors, counselors, and other experts, as well as individuals and couples whose attachment stories illuminate and embody the theory's key concepts. The result is this engaging and revealing book, which is part journalism, part memoir, part psychological guide--and a fascinating read for anyone who wants to better understand the needs and dynamics that drive the complex relationships in their lives.
* What it means to be securely and insecurely attached
* How our early childhood experiences create a blueprint for future relationships--and how to use those insights to gain self-awareness and growth
* Why anxious and avoidant attachment types tend to attract each other, and how to break the negative cycle
* How anyone can work to become "earned secure" regardless of their upbringing and past relationships.
About the Author
Peter Lovenheim is an author and journalist whose articles and essays have appeared in The New York Times, Parade, The Washington Post, and elsewhere. He teaches nonfiction writing at The Writers Center in Bethesda, Maryland. His previous book is In the Neighborhood, winner of The First Annual Zócalo Public Square Book Prize.
"Every reader will find this book about attachment enlightening -- and above all, moving. The author takes a personal approach and shows how learning about the new science of attachment helps him understand himself and his life – in fact, the lives of all of us. An easy, absorbing read!"
--Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships and Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
“I’ve always thought that attachment principles play a crucial role not just in childrearing and romantic relationships, but in other aspects of our lives. Then along comes this book, which illustrates how attachment affects pretty much everything! Written beautifully and most important, accessibly, The Attachment Effect does a magnificent job of revealing how attachment manifests at the workplace, in friendships, religion, and even politics.”
--Amir Levine, M.D., bestselling author of Attached
"This remarkable book can be read in several ways. Each makes us more informed and better off. As an overview of a major body of research and social psychological theory; as a source of improved understanding of ourselves--and to better attach to others."
--Amitai Etzioni, author of The New Golden Rule: Community and Morality in a Democratic Society and University Professor at the George Washington University
"This richly informative, deeply researched, touchingly personal, and always readable book about the meaning and uses of attachment theory explores the hows and whys of our complicated connections with each other. It offers valuable insights into what makes a relationship fail or succeed, and how a better understanding of our attachment style might help to rescue a floundering relationship.”
--Judith Viorst, author of Necessary Losses
“Cogent, informative, well written….artfully lays out how styles of attachment shape behavior in many different settings and people (including the author himself).”
--Joan Jacobs Brumberg, professor emerita of Women's Studies and Human Development at Cornell, and author of Fasting Girls and The Body Project
"With remarkable frankness and rare insight into his own experiences and those of many others he interviewed, Peter Lovenheim shows in The Attachment Effect how we can improve all our relationships--from work to romance, parenting to politics, youth to aging--even if events beyond our control during infancy started us off on the wrong track. An incisive work that can guide everyone to have a better relationship with every individual who matters in their lives."
--Nicholas Gage, author of Eleni and A Place for Us
“Accurate, engaging, and beautifully written…it is rare for a book to be this much fun while also being so instructive and thought provoking. I loved reading it!”
--Phillip R. Shaver, PhD, Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of California Davis, coauthor of Attachment in Adulthood and coeditor of The Handbook of Attachment